I’ve just starting dating a woman with food allergies, and I’ve never dated someone with food allergies before. Is it OK to kiss her if I’ve eaten something she’s allergic to?
Hi. First, I really appreciate that you’re even asking and making the health and safety of this woman a priority.
Generally, the answer is going to be: no, not right after you’ve eaten what she’s allergic to.
Whilst this isn’t something that’s been studied and tested again and again and again, there are some general guidelines you can follow to ensure her safety.
1. No kissing right after you’ve eaten her allergen(s).
2. Brush teeth and wash hands/face after eating the allergen(s). Mouth wash, whilst optional, can also be helpful after brushing. Then kissing should be fine.
3. If brushing is not an option, wait at least 4 hours before kissing.
The safest option: talk with her and find out what her needs are. Ask if you should avoid her allergen(s) on days when you know you’ll be together. This is especially helpful when dating, and can give her a lot of peace of mind.
If you stay together long term, you’ll need to figure out the best system. This is something many couples have to navigate and they generally find a happy medium.
Having a partner with food allergies isn’t anywhere near impossible. With strong communication you can work together to make sure that safety is a top priority, and not a concern, so you can focus on relationship building.
Another thing you can do: reassure her that her needs are not a burden, and that she can always voice concerns so you guys can create a new solution. You wouldn’t know this, but people with food allergies often times don’t want to be “a problem” and won’t voice concerns. The fact that you want to make accommodations tells me the kind of person you are, and I’m here for it.
Last tip: always be 100% honest and transparent about the situation with her. Never lie or skirt around what you’ve eaten. Additionally, don’t be afraid to ask her for help if you’re struggling with what to eat on days when you know you’ll be together. Communication is key.
Enjoy your date!
~The Allergy Chef
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